Good week

This week was crazy and busy. I prepared all week for a girls retreat for Pitcairn Assembly of God's youth group. On my day off I got to see Lorie and Holli. I needed that. Anyway, the hard work paid off. Kori and I went to Pitcairn on Friday night. We met a great bunch of girls. It was awesome to be a part of what hopefully will be something that will be life changing for these girls. I loved watching Kori let God use her. She is going to great things for God. I am so proud of her!

Surrender Again???

So... lately I have been very frustrated. Why? because, we are exactly where we should be. I love Element Church! My kids are happy in there schools. Its all good right? Yeah, its all good without me. I am gone for most of the day. I am tired, tired of being nice and then I come home. My family does not deserve my leftovers. I run from work to whatever is next. There has been no time alone with God. When there was time, I was glued to facebook, tv, etc. I'm tired. A friend suggested a book and some other things to get me on track. I read the book, I started prioritizing and reading my bible but my attitude although better was not changed. I am frustrated with myself! Yesterday, I cried out to God. That is what the book said to do. I cried, I complained, I questioned. Tonight, I was alone with time. I could have napped, facebooked, etc. I made myself turn on some music and work out (another thing I was neglecting). During my work out I heard God. It was kind of comical after a while. The first song was Never Alone by Barlow Girl. I had complained that I was lonely yesterday. Second was about Brokenness, Third was by Casting Crowns, it talked about God catching me when I am falling. I complained that all I do is work and we still struggle. The next one was Surrender by Barlow Girl. This is when I laughed. This is a topic that has been pounded into my hard head for quite some time. The list just kept going. Sometimes in the ministry we are surrounded by people but feel very alone. Sometimes I long for what once was. Don't get me wrong I LOVE what we are doing in ministry. I love Element Church! I just want some of the past things too. Moving on is tough. Feeling like you are moving on alone is tougher. I have a hard time depending on God and not those that have held me up in the past. They are still there but I have to let HIM catch me when I am falling, not them. I get it but I am still working on doing it. I miss them!

God is awesome!

It never ceases to amaze me that God can use me even when I am feeling completely inadequate! I spent yesterday and today at Allison Park Church for the Breakthrough weekend. I was a prayer partner. People were dealing with some heavy stuff and I was basically terrified. I did not know what to say and felt like I should not be there. Rich encouraged me, I was frantically texting Lorie, and praying. I wanted to run! Instead, I just stepped out and let God use me. God used my inadequacy to make me solely depend on Him! It was awesome!

Surrender again!

I find myself in a place I have been in too many times. For years now I have struggled to control my tongue. I have been told to read James 5 a few times, lol. There was a time that I would just say things without thinking. In high school I was incredibly blunt. As a pastor's wife or even a Christian that is not usually a good thing. A friend of mine, used to threaten to carry duct tape so if I started to say something I shouldn't she could put it over my mouth. Thankfully she never did. I am positive she should have, however. Honestly, I struggle to control it. That is the problem, however... God needs to be in control. I do a lousy job, believe me. I have to surrender every day. I, seriously can't do this on my own. This week, I lost it on a coworker. She laughed; she thought I was kidding:) It was a funny story, except I found myself slipping over and over again this week. It is way to familiar of a place for me! I get so tired of being in this place... again! We sang a song at church today, that really spoke to me. It was: "The More I Seek You." The words are "The more we seek Him, the more we'll find Him. The more we find Him, the more we love Him. Come, let us sit at His feet, drink from the cup in His hands, lay back against Him and breathe, feel His heart beat. This love is so deep. It is more than I can stand. Let us melt in His peace that's overwhelming." I am overwhelmed alot but not with Him or His peace. Maybe that is because I am sooo busy doing things that I do not make time for Him. I really worship and I feel His presence on Sunday mornings, but what about the rest of the week? Am I too busy? Could I cut something out? What do I cut out? What do add? Should I not be admitting any of this, as a pastor's wife? I don't know but somehting has to change! All in all I surrender... AGAIN!

Well, 2009 is over. It has been an incredible year! In October 2008, we took a leap of faith and began our journey to what is now Element Church. We get to work with a great group of people every week in Millvale, PA. We would like to thank all of you, who have supported us in this endeavor.

JoLyn is 14 and in the 9th grade at Shaler Area High School. She was and is involved in the musicals at both the middle school and now the high school. She continues to be involved in Fine Arts and loves every minute of it. She is also a member of the Sensations Twirling Team. JoLyn is involved in Apc youth group 220 and loves every minute of it. She is our social butterfly who lovers her family and her friends.

Jackilyn is 8, she will turn 9 this month. She is in the 3rd grade. She continues to get straight A's and is freakishly smart:) She is playing basketball for the second year and her daddy is once again her coach. She is also a girl scout and hopes to follow in her sister's footsteps with extraordinary cookie sales. She also had a solo in this years Element Church Christmas program. Her compassion and joy is contagious to all those she is around!

Jodi is still working at USX Federal Credit Union downtown in the USX tower. It is the tallest building in Pittsburgh and she works .... in the basement, lol. Although, she is not fond of morning, she does love the hustle and bustle of downtown. Her heart, however is to spend more time with her family and helping to build Element Church!

Rich is very busy preparing each week for the Element Church Service. He is grateful to work with such a great team, in a great town, with a great bunch of people. Although, living in Steeler and Penguin Country, he is still loyal to Philadelphia teams. He has enjoyed speaking at many of the churches in the Penn Del District as well.

This next year holds many exciting things. Look out for what God is going to Do!

What I am thankful for...

I have so much to be thankful for this holiday season. First, for Christ being born. Second, I am married to the love of my life for going on 18 years. We have actually been together for almost 21 years! That is a long time:) I have two beautiful girls who are the joy of my life. Did I just say the joy of my life? Boy, I do sound old! Thanks go out to my parents, who just picked up there lives and moved here to help and support us. That is what they have always done for me. It has never gone unnoticed! I also am thankful for my brothers. I do not see them very much but I love them and miss them alot. Thank you to my inlaws for your love and support! I am thankful for Elelment Church and all of our new friends. I am thankful for my old friends too! I am thankful for AnnLouise for 40 years of the best times. We aren't always together but we can just pick up where we left off. I want to shout out to my teachers and pastors along the way who have helped me become the woman of God that I am today. That is alot of you, I lived in alot of places:) I appreciate the love and encouragement from Pastor and Becky Leake. We love you very much. Lorie, Deb, Merissa, & Colleen, I would not have made it through some of the tough times without you. Thanks for encourageing me, and standing by me even when I was acting like a brat alot of the time! Thanks to my friends in Monroeville, Hermitage, Michigan and Philly. We miss you! All of you have played a very important part in my life and for all of you, I am truly THANKFUL!

PW Retreat 2009

What an amazing weekend! First of all I turned 40, which I was less than thrilled about:) However, as you can see below my friends made it "special." They really are awesome! I love pastor's wives retreat for many reasons. I love getting to see friends. We are all there to have fun, laugh, maybe cry, but definitely soak in more of God. We can be mentored or we can be the mentorer. Either way, this retreat is a gift from God to ladies that give all year!

I hate getting older!

Very soon, I will be turning another year older. People tell me all the time I don't look it. I am grateful that I still look young; so why is this so hard? I so do not want to get older. I was always like, I am the baby of the family, and the youngest on staff. I was good at it and I liked it. I lost that a long time ago. (well not the youngest in the family thing:) It bothered me and I was only 31 when it happened. Now, 40! Yuck! I wonder, does it change anything? Should it? I have had all the aches and pains of being older for years. I can't stop it, so what do I do? I guess, I realize I have a great family, awesome friends and fantastic future. Thanks God!

17 years!!!

It is hard to believe that Rich and I have been married for 17 years! I remember the first time I saw him. He jumped out in front of me in Harrup hallway at VFCC. He was class President and was inviting all of the new freshment to come to a class social. He had this event so he could meet the new freshmen, by the way. I guess it worked:) I'm glad it did. A short time later we were officially dating. 11 months later we were engaged. We had a beautiful wedding June 6, 1992. Now, we have two beautiful girls and a great future. Rich is loving, sweet, FUNNY and I love him more every year!

Awesome Day!

God is so good! If you would have told me I was going to have a day with the group of friends I was with today, last year.. I would have said you were crazy! I had the perfect day! God did amazing things this year in all of us. We can once again be a solid group! If any of you read this, know that I love you and I pray for you and I thank God for you!

Great week with great friends!

So.. this week, we went back to Monroeville A/G. Rich spoke in big church, lol. Hey you do youth ministry for 20 years and see what you call it when you speak to adults:) Any way, it was great to see old friends (not to say they are old). After service we got to spend time with the Lecocqs. It was awesome. I need my Lorie time, lol! Friday night we went to dinner with the Jenkins. Always alot of fun. If you know Debbie and I you no there were laughs. Tonight we went out with the Uries. We took the motorcycles down to Robinson Town Center. It was so beautiful out tonight. Riding the bike was fun, relaxing and "carefree." I have been pretty stressed lately so it was nice to just ride! Thanks to all of my good friends! I miss ya!

Ever feel like you have no time, no energy and no money? What does that usually do to you? It probably makes you feel like you have no hope. Now, we all know our hope comes from God... so therefore why do I and so many others allow ourselves to feel down? Probably because too often we as human beings rely on feelings not facts. That is where my state of mind is today. I know the facts but I feel frustrated and stressed. I know what I am supposed to want and do but I just want to sit here and do nothing. So, then the feelings move on to guilt for not doing more and spending more time with those people or things that I feel like I neglect. The things become overwhelming. It poses these questions: 1) How can I get it all done? 2) Does it matter; it will only need done again almost immediately? 3) Does what I do matter? 4) What is really important? 5) Is it ever going to end (financial stress, etc)? Okay, I am just being real today.. but that is no way to write a blog, I guess! It is time to stop the pity party:)
I know and must believe that my hope comes from the Lord and he loves me and all of the "little things" in my life. I also know that faith comes from believing; so thats what we must do!

How can I be a good wife, mom and pastor's wife too?

Things are changing in my life all the time! Element Church is a reality!!! It is why I live here. But... how do I follow the call God has on my life and work 40 hours a week (more when you consider I have to go downtown) and still try to be a mom and maintain a house. I have been working 4 tens. That is incredibly hard because I am too tired to do what I need to do. I force myself to do it all anyway. But.. I am not always cheerful to say the least. However, at least I get a day off this way. So.. I am thinking well once summer gets here I will make the best of it and spend time with my kids, etc. Nope now for more changes......... no more tens allowed! If I work 5 days I am still gone all day, away from my kids all I get out of the deal is no day off! This just doesn't work for someone who is in full time ministry and parenting too! I don't live here to work at a credit union; I live here to be the pastor's wife at Element Church! I am excited about what God is doing in Millvale and I'm excited about what he wants to do in me and through me!

Wow, I'm a pastor's wife!

The other day, I was working at the credit union. I was really excited because Element Church was opening in only 2 days. I decided to tell a couple of members all about it. There response was not only positive but slightly comical. They loved the idea of Element church and wanted to be on the prayer team, and.... they said wow, you really can't judge someone on how they look. Now, previously I may have been insulted by this but not this time. I am not sure what they thought a pastor's wife should look like but they meant it as a compliment. I am proud to represent Christ there and at Element church!

Debbie Jenkins is awesome!

I have a great friend and her name is Debbie Jenkins. I mean it, she is awesome! I just spent the last few hours with her. We used to spend so much time together but in the past four years our lives have changed, ALOT! It hasn't always been easy for either of us, but one thing I can always count on is Debbie! One thing I hope Debbie will always know is that no matter what either of us go through there are two people she can count on! One is Jesus and the other is me! You are NEVER alone!

That's MY Girl!!!

JoLyn has been one busy girl! Beginning on Thursday, JoLyn was scheduled to go to her dress rehearsal for Aladdin Jr at school. Monday through Thursdays for a couple months she has been practicing for that. Sundays, all day, she has been practicing for Fine Arts. On Thursday afternoon, she hurt her elbow and has been in a sling since Friday. On Friday night she played a royal gurad in Aladdin. She and her friends were awesome! Saturday morning at 8 we arrived at SouthHills AG for Fine Arts.

Although JoLyn was exhausted, overwhelmed and in pain she just kept going. She participated in 2 human videos and a drama solo all before 1:00 pm. In the picture to the right you see her in her small human video. She did a fantastic job in all of the events but in this one she even reinjured her arm but finished. Following that, we jumped in the car so she could do her play for a final time. She actually fell asleep on the way to the school. JoLyn finished everything with a fantastic attitude! I was so proud of her! JoLyn has had some rough times in past few years. It was so exciting to see her just flourish. SHe is so happy and that makes me happy! Way to go JoLyn!

Great service!

This mornings message was awesome! It was something that I have been told more than once by more than one spiritual mentor, lol! It was all about your attitude being your choice. Attitude is something I have on occasion, struggled with. I feel that God has helped me come pretty far from where I once was. In 1992, at Valley Forge Christian College, my senior year wasn't 'FAIR." But as Pastor Jeff said this morning, life isn't always fair. I chodse, for a better part of the year to be pretty miserable. That is a year I will never get back. The dean of women, Jen Weinholt, told me then "choose to be happy!" I thought she was crazy. I mean, come on, so much was wrong that year and it wasn't my fault. But, I was the only one who could make that choice. I did not make that choice that year. Since then others have helped me realize that attitiude was a choice. I hope I have learned my lessons well! Pastor Jeff's sermon was so great and I hope that people listened. It is not worth sacrificing the time you won't get back. You can choose to be mad at the people or circumstances that you feel were unfair or you can change your own attitude and let God change you! God wants to use all of us but if we are unwilling to take responsibility for our own attitudes and actions, we won't be able to be used at all! I am not taking that chance again!

Great Christmas!

This holiday has been great! We have been so blessed to see most of our families. On Thursday, we enjoyed Christmas morning with our girls. They are so fun watch. Then we went to my parent's home. We enjoyed a turkey dinner with them and my nephew TJ. It was awesome to just hang out and relax with no traveling. I love having my parents close! That evening Rich's dad was passing through Pittsburgh on his way home. We got to enjoy our annual chinese dinner with him. On Friday, I had to work but after I got to hang out with two of my brothers and their families. I don't get to see them often so it was awesome! We took my brother Rich and his wife Bonnie and kids downtown to Mount Washington. We gave them a tour of the city at night. I miss my bros alot but I appreciate that I had yesterday. I wish I had gotten to see my brother John as well but I did get a nice card and gift from him. Today we are at my in laws. We will get to see all of his siblings but Rob. I wish we could have seen him and his family but we are having a nice time. His grandparents on his mom's side have recently moved in with them. We are getting ready to enjoy Rich's moms famous lasagna in a few minutes. CAN'T WAIT! Anyway, we are truly blessed and look forward to a great 2009!

What a year!

What a crazy year! We started out 2008 in Hermitage and finished it in Pittsburgh! The only thing that has not changed is how busy we all are. JoLyn is in 8th grade and loving her new found "popularity," LOL! She has been invited to Christmas parties and sleepovers since coming to Pittsburgh. She is involoved in youth group and has made many friends. She does miss her friends from Re:volution alot though! She is about to begin a new year of Fine Arts. Thanks to Susie Yusko and Sherie Urey, JoLyn ,made it along with 12 others from First Assembly to the National level last year. She has already earned college scholarships. She was also involved in baton and is missing that. She finished her final year of slow pitch softball. Last year, she assisted in coaching preschool soccer and is assisting her father in coaching Jacki's basketball team. Jacki has had a rougher time adjusting to her new home but has also made many friends. She does however, miss being a Hickory Hornet! For those of you who know Jacki, you know that her hugs and loving approach to life is welcomed everywhere though. She continues to do well in school and in church as well. Jacki played soccer last year and has just begun playing basketball. She is thrilled that her dad and sister are her coaches. She also was involved in baton but we are taking a break for now. Today was her Christmas play. She was adorible! Rich and I are just trying adjust both in our ministry and in our family. I was working 9 to 3 Monday through Friday. I loved my job because I loved the people I worked with, (I miss my FBF's). They are awesome! Now, I work 4, 10 hour days a week, beginning at 6:45AM. It means that Rich gets everyone out the door in the morning and JoLyn helps in the afternoon as well as my mom. My parents chose to take this leap of faith with us. Thank God for them. It gives our children the extra stability they need right now. Just going to work has been tough enough (I don't like morning) but leaving my motherly duties behind is the hardest! I feel guilty most of the time. Rich has been AWESOME! For now it is what we need to do. Rich of course has been through the most change. For 20 years he ate, slept and breathed youth ministry. Now, that all is changing. The church plant has been very exciting. Check out PR's Rant to see all of the exciting updates. We are involved with Allison Park Church. We help with the Young Adult program on Tuesdays. Millvale Matters is on Thursdays. I love both of these groups because I get to be a part of a small group and learn as well. For the last twenty years, I have been a leader of teenagers. I loved that but now I am focusing on a new adventure in my life. I miss my freinds from... well lots of places, but I am ready to do this! 2009 will be a great year with many challenges and many successes.

Good times!

Since my last blog alot has happened. A month ago I started working at a credit union. Now, for all of you that know me, you know I hate morning. Guess what time I start work? Did you know there were two 6:45's? Yes, that's right I work at 6:45 in the MORNING! Crazy! Anyway, I take a bus downtown 4 days a week. I work in the US Steel building. That part is AWESOME! The many cups of Starbucks Peppermint Mochas are fantastic too! LOL
The church plant is going great too. There are alot of great people partnering with us!
My kids are loving life too. JoLyn loves school and youth group. Jacki is doing well too. She has alot of friends too. Anyway, we are really busy but we are all good. You know why, 'cause God is in control.