Good week

This week was crazy and busy. I prepared all week for a girls retreat for Pitcairn Assembly of God's youth group. On my day off I got to see Lorie and Holli. I needed that. Anyway, the hard work paid off. Kori and I went to Pitcairn on Friday night. We met a great bunch of girls. It was awesome to be a part of what hopefully will be something that will be life changing for these girls. I loved watching Kori let God use her. She is going to great things for God. I am so proud of her!

Surrender Again???

So... lately I have been very frustrated. Why? because, we are exactly where we should be. I love Element Church! My kids are happy in there schools. Its all good right? Yeah, its all good without me. I am gone for most of the day. I am tired, tired of being nice and then I come home. My family does not deserve my leftovers. I run from work to whatever is next. There has been no time alone with God. When there was time, I was glued to facebook, tv, etc. I'm tired. A friend suggested a book and some other things to get me on track. I read the book, I started prioritizing and reading my bible but my attitude although better was not changed. I am frustrated with myself! Yesterday, I cried out to God. That is what the book said to do. I cried, I complained, I questioned. Tonight, I was alone with time. I could have napped, facebooked, etc. I made myself turn on some music and work out (another thing I was neglecting). During my work out I heard God. It was kind of comical after a while. The first song was Never Alone by Barlow Girl. I had complained that I was lonely yesterday. Second was about Brokenness, Third was by Casting Crowns, it talked about God catching me when I am falling. I complained that all I do is work and we still struggle. The next one was Surrender by Barlow Girl. This is when I laughed. This is a topic that has been pounded into my hard head for quite some time. The list just kept going. Sometimes in the ministry we are surrounded by people but feel very alone. Sometimes I long for what once was. Don't get me wrong I LOVE what we are doing in ministry. I love Element Church! I just want some of the past things too. Moving on is tough. Feeling like you are moving on alone is tougher. I have a hard time depending on God and not those that have held me up in the past. They are still there but I have to let HIM catch me when I am falling, not them. I get it but I am still working on doing it. I miss them!

God is awesome!

It never ceases to amaze me that God can use me even when I am feeling completely inadequate! I spent yesterday and today at Allison Park Church for the Breakthrough weekend. I was a prayer partner. People were dealing with some heavy stuff and I was basically terrified. I did not know what to say and felt like I should not be there. Rich encouraged me, I was frantically texting Lorie, and praying. I wanted to run! Instead, I just stepped out and let God use me. God used my inadequacy to make me solely depend on Him! It was awesome!

Surrender again!

I find myself in a place I have been in too many times. For years now I have struggled to control my tongue. I have been told to read James 5 a few times, lol. There was a time that I would just say things without thinking. In high school I was incredibly blunt. As a pastor's wife or even a Christian that is not usually a good thing. A friend of mine, used to threaten to carry duct tape so if I started to say something I shouldn't she could put it over my mouth. Thankfully she never did. I am positive she should have, however. Honestly, I struggle to control it. That is the problem, however... God needs to be in control. I do a lousy job, believe me. I have to surrender every day. I, seriously can't do this on my own. This week, I lost it on a coworker. She laughed; she thought I was kidding:) It was a funny story, except I found myself slipping over and over again this week. It is way to familiar of a place for me! I get so tired of being in this place... again! We sang a song at church today, that really spoke to me. It was: "The More I Seek You." The words are "The more we seek Him, the more we'll find Him. The more we find Him, the more we love Him. Come, let us sit at His feet, drink from the cup in His hands, lay back against Him and breathe, feel His heart beat. This love is so deep. It is more than I can stand. Let us melt in His peace that's overwhelming." I am overwhelmed alot but not with Him or His peace. Maybe that is because I am sooo busy doing things that I do not make time for Him. I really worship and I feel His presence on Sunday mornings, but what about the rest of the week? Am I too busy? Could I cut something out? What do I cut out? What do add? Should I not be admitting any of this, as a pastor's wife? I don't know but somehting has to change! All in all I surrender... AGAIN!

Well, 2009 is over. It has been an incredible year! In October 2008, we took a leap of faith and began our journey to what is now Element Church. We get to work with a great group of people every week in Millvale, PA. We would like to thank all of you, who have supported us in this endeavor.

JoLyn is 14 and in the 9th grade at Shaler Area High School. She was and is involved in the musicals at both the middle school and now the high school. She continues to be involved in Fine Arts and loves every minute of it. She is also a member of the Sensations Twirling Team. JoLyn is involved in Apc youth group 220 and loves every minute of it. She is our social butterfly who lovers her family and her friends.

Jackilyn is 8, she will turn 9 this month. She is in the 3rd grade. She continues to get straight A's and is freakishly smart:) She is playing basketball for the second year and her daddy is once again her coach. She is also a girl scout and hopes to follow in her sister's footsteps with extraordinary cookie sales. She also had a solo in this years Element Church Christmas program. Her compassion and joy is contagious to all those she is around!

Jodi is still working at USX Federal Credit Union downtown in the USX tower. It is the tallest building in Pittsburgh and she works .... in the basement, lol. Although, she is not fond of morning, she does love the hustle and bustle of downtown. Her heart, however is to spend more time with her family and helping to build Element Church!

Rich is very busy preparing each week for the Element Church Service. He is grateful to work with such a great team, in a great town, with a great bunch of people. Although, living in Steeler and Penguin Country, he is still loyal to Philadelphia teams. He has enjoyed speaking at many of the churches in the Penn Del District as well.

This next year holds many exciting things. Look out for what God is going to Do!

What I am thankful for...

I have so much to be thankful for this holiday season. First, for Christ being born. Second, I am married to the love of my life for going on 18 years. We have actually been together for almost 21 years! That is a long time:) I have two beautiful girls who are the joy of my life. Did I just say the joy of my life? Boy, I do sound old! Thanks go out to my parents, who just picked up there lives and moved here to help and support us. That is what they have always done for me. It has never gone unnoticed! I also am thankful for my brothers. I do not see them very much but I love them and miss them alot. Thank you to my inlaws for your love and support! I am thankful for Elelment Church and all of our new friends. I am thankful for my old friends too! I am thankful for AnnLouise for 40 years of the best times. We aren't always together but we can just pick up where we left off. I want to shout out to my teachers and pastors along the way who have helped me become the woman of God that I am today. That is alot of you, I lived in alot of places:) I appreciate the love and encouragement from Pastor and Becky Leake. We love you very much. Lorie, Deb, Merissa, & Colleen, I would not have made it through some of the tough times without you. Thanks for encourageing me, and standing by me even when I was acting like a brat alot of the time! Thanks to my friends in Monroeville, Hermitage, Michigan and Philly. We miss you! All of you have played a very important part in my life and for all of you, I am truly THANKFUL!

PW Retreat 2009

What an amazing weekend! First of all I turned 40, which I was less than thrilled about:) However, as you can see below my friends made it "special." They really are awesome! I love pastor's wives retreat for many reasons. I love getting to see friends. We are all there to have fun, laugh, maybe cry, but definitely soak in more of God. We can be mentored or we can be the mentorer. Either way, this retreat is a gift from God to ladies that give all year!